The Profound Loss of Botanical Bunny

[WhiteAngelica]

I was hanging on, with baited breath, to ever last email. Waiting. I could wait forever, it seemed. Then, before the holidays I believe, I went to troll the BB URL like always, and:

Gone. Url gone. No goodbyes. Just this. Gone. A black hole in my Kratom history and life of disability and pain, a pain that Botanical Bunny managed to lift from me in supernatural ways, practically.

I checked my inbox. A little freak, I never, ever delete emails. Some stupid ADHD business on my part. But I have an archive of my patronage: a very, very long and dense archive.

I didn't realize, but BB was my #1. I checked out my orders and re-orders. Being disabled, I couldn't get craploads at once so I managed to turn birthdays and holidays into Botanical Bunny days. Each month, after receiving disability, I placed an order and when I liked something: oh, holy hell.
Obsession. It's not just a fragrance. I didn't hoard, and should have. I just ate the Kratom. My favorites are clearly repetitive and blinding and if I could squirrel away enough, multiple times a month. Thankfully, Botanical Bunny was the exact price range for people like me.

Truly, the screenshot of orders was as astounding. I can't swing purchases like this anymore, and right now, I just want Botanical Bunny back.

Do any of you have a profoundly sentimental with a vendor and their wares, now gone? I would list the wonderful vendors available today, but I'm grieving the death of the URL. Without the BB URL, it is over. Officially. For good. Forever. I was a very loud and visible cheerleader here, and elsewhere.

I wish I got a chance to express how BB saved me when I was diagnosed with a congenital disease that is degenerative, a time when I saw my career slipping through my fingers, now gone. My mobility, fading. The deepest bone sadness I can say. But BB took my pain and let me move, gave me a quality of life and reminded me of who I was besides just an illness. It helped me remember myself. It is a joyous bookmark in a decade that has grown increasingly challenging to navigate.

My spouse was diagnosed with Stage 3 Inflammatory Breast Cancer two years ago. This was a way of making pain something you just integrate into the bones of your life and being, because you have a job to do. The job has become bigger and bigger. I have become smaller. Like Alice in Wonderland, I want to be the giant rabbit who never loses a moment of time. Time is all we have.

I have to accept that time has radically changed. There is no more Botanical Bunny. I don't know what the future holds when vendors seem to be struggling with their sources who I believe must take on incredible paperwork to obtain the permits to export from a newly regulated Indonesian market. I have noted delayed deliveries, confiscated deliveries, shrinking supply and I'm guessing a myriad of struggles I don't see, as a Kratom consumer sbd not a USA vendor, and not an Indo farmer and distributor. I am assuming some vendors are stressed about their livelihoods, while others will not. Some Kratom operations of the larger kind might easily obtain their permits and be set to export larger amounts of product to the states, leading to a market that is more homogenous. Please excuse me, since I know nothing about this. Merely l, it is what I've gleaned in the process of seeing some vendors I love struggle, and others close their proverbial doors, call it quits.

With BB, the writing was on the wall. The menu became contributions from the vendor's personal stash and my last look consisted of two remaining white strains available in exceptionally small quantities. But denial is dumb and I am dumb as denial.

For those of you who hoard, collect, enjoy your leaf selections in moderation because today is not forever: you are smart.

Here's to the people who know what I'm saying. Here's to a future of tabs, puffs, Kratom tobacco, seltzer, I don't know. I'm just a fart that misses a shiny red bag and a bunny, and the great memories we shared.

I don't think you will come back Mr. Bunny, but I'd love it if you did. Sincerely, your loudest fangirl who still holds to the audacity of hope.

[Kelleytoons]

Denette for sure is a real loss for me - about half of my collection is Denette (the other half TFH).

Luckily I probably DO have enough to last my (limited) lifetime but it's still very sad he's gone.

[Transformato]

I was hanging on, with baited breat

May be the finest lamenting I have ever read, I get it. I really do.
And my admiration is genuine if strange. You express yourself with words very well- and without holding back that I can tell. So... Awesome.

I regret not continuing with BB. I only ever got 3x 100g bags from them. (Lot 13 in 2017 !) The greens were so good that I've only used them in blends so not to spoil
anything else but be better or really good if the base was lacking somewhat. Anyway, don't disrepair. I know you have a tricky situation.

While other, monumental events are taking place- I see many similar kinds of posts in different places while underlying anxieties build up.
And you know too- It's Winter
It's cold in more than one way.

[WickedMadScientist]

BB was very special